75 Ideas for Spicing Up Your Sex Life

If your sex life feels like it’s in a rut, you may wonder if it’s time to spice things up—but how?

This post is for you if you’re a wife who . . .

 . . . wants to do more but is concerned about going to do something that seems too edgy.

 . . . has no ideas on how to spice things up.

 . . . still struggles with sex but wants to challenge herself to grow.

In this post you’ll find a list of 75 ideas that you can use.

The great thing about this list is that it consists of mostly mild and medium spicy suggestions. In fact, many of the ideas you’ll see aren’t adding spice as much as they are just modifying things you already do.

Whether you think an idea is spicy or not, the suggestions here should help you expand the flavor options in your sex life.

75 Ideas

 Are you ready?

Let’s go!

Note: This list contains affiliate links that earn me a small commission when you make a purchase using the link.

1. Add a wedge pillow to your favorite position and find out what feels different.
2. Add twinkling Christmas lights to your bedroom.
3. Approach your husband for sex when you’re fully dressed. Remove only the clothing that is absolutely necessary.
4. Bring yourself to orgasm while your husband watches.
5. Buy something sexy at your local thrift store and invite your husband to rip it off your body.
6. Close the blinds. Ask him to sit down and watch you cook dinner. Excuse yourself to run to the bathroom, where you remove your clothing and put only an apron on. Do all your cooking work wearing only the apron, no touching allowed. Make sure you do lots of bending. Ask him to open a stubborn jar, and when he does, give him a peek. No touching until after dinner.
7. Come up with challenges you can do together, such as see how many different positions you can use in one session who can be the loudest or quietest during sex.
8. Dance together naked before having sex.
9. Describe out loud how you are feeling or thinking (for example, “I am so wet” or “I love how hard you are”).
10. Dress up as superheroes together—and then undress. If you aren’t into superheroes, consider French maid, nurse, ballerina, cave woman, pirate wench, astronaut, and so on. (Wondering if role play is okay in your marriage? Check out this post and this podcast episode.)
11. Eat something like a banana or hot dog with sexual teasing to mimic oral sex—and then be sure to follow through later.
12. Flash your husband.
13. Get a new pubic hair style, perhaps removing all the hair or trimming it into a fun shape.
14. Get some streamers. Before your husband comes home, lay them on the floor from your door to some non-bedroom location in the house, where you will be waiting for him naked on a pile of blankets or wrap them around your body so he watches you become more and more naked as he unwraps you.
15. Have a glass shower door? Press your breasts against the glass when he comes in to brush his teeth while you’re in the shower.
16. Have a sexual encounter where only one of you does all the touching and decision making about how thing proceed—and next time let it be the other spouse’s turn.
17. Have kids at home? Ask your husband to help you in the bathroom. Offer a just-for-him quickie.
18. Have occasional “just for her” or “just for him” sexual encounters where it’s all about extending and amplifying one spouse’s pleasure (and make sure the other spouse gets a happy ending too).
19. Have sex before you go out for date night.
20. Have sex every day for two weeks.
21. Have sex in a different room, or even outside if you have sufficient privacy.
22. Have sex in complete silence.
23. Have sex in every room of your house.
24. Have sex on the floor.
25. Have sex on the kitchen table.
26. Have sex with your heads at the foot of the bed, or lie sideways.
27. Have three sexual encounters in one day.
28. In the morning, give him a written “menu” of at least three things you’d like to include in a sexual encounter later in the day. Make sure to include at least one thing that he knows you enjoy.
29. Initiate at a time of day or in a location where he doesn’t expect it.
30. Install a mirror on your ceiling.
31. Invite your husband to ejaculate in your mouth or on your body.
32. Invite your husband to watch you undress.
33. Join your husband in the shower and give him a hand job.
34. Keep the lights on.
35. Lay out two sexy underthing choices on your bed, take pictures of them, and send the pictures to your husband. Ask him to choose what you should be wearing when he gets back home.
36. Light a scented candle.
37. Look into each other’s eyes while you have an orgasm.
38. Make a sexual innuendo.
39. Make a small change by switching your usual order of activities or positions.
40. Maneuver your husband into position and start in on a sexual activity or position that you know he loves.
41. Place a temporary tattoo on a part of your body that only your husband will see.
42. Plan a lovemaking encounter that involves food.
43. Play a sexy board game together.
44. Refer to his genitals, your genitals, or lovemaking using different words than you usually do.
45. Screw a red lightbulb into a lamp to change the lighting in the room.
46. Send each other sexy text messages.
47. Set a timer and see how quickly you can have sex or how long you can stretch it out.
48. Shop for a sex toy together at Married Dance
49. Sit across the room from each other while you both masturbate and watch each other.
50. Stock up on Red Hots or Altoids to use while you’re giving oral sex. They can give a little extra tingle!
51. Strip for your husband.
52. Suddenly drop your pants or lift up your skirt and straddle your husband on the couch.
53. Swallow during oral sex.
54. Take a bath together.
55. Take a sexcation where your only goal is to enjoy lots of sex with each other.
56. Take your husband out to the garage, lean over the hood of the car, and get things started.
57. Try a new lubricant.
58. Try a style of lingerie that is different than your usual.
59. Try new sex positions by getting a deck of position cards from Christian Friendly Sex Positions and drawing cards to try out.
60. Turn the lights off.
61. Use a mirror to watch yourselves having sex.
62. Use a sex swing.
63. Use different styles of background music (such as jazz, rock, classical, country, etc.).
64. Vajazzle or otherwise redecorate your nether regions. 
65. Wake him up in the middle of the night by stimulating his penis.
66. Wear a blindfold, or put one on your husband.
67. Wear a thong, sexy undies, or no undies at all when you’re out together. Give him a peek or tell him what you’re wearing (or not) so he can be thinking about how you look under your clothes.
68. Wear lingerie if you usually don’t. Or wear nothing at all.
69. Wear revealing clothing when you and your husband are home alone.
70. Wear your highest heels while having sex. Other clothing is optional.
71. When you give him oral sex, try a new technique.
72. When you’re out at a restaurant or other event, excuse yourself to use the restroom. Remove your underwear. When you return to your husband, discreetly slip your underwear into his pocket.
73. Work together to make a list of sexy new ideas that you are both willing to try. Write them each on a slip of paper and put them into a jar. Once a month, draw out a slip of paper and try the idea you see there.
74. Write an erotic story together that features the two of you.
75. Write sexy messages or draw a treasure map on your body with a Sharpie marker.

You’ll find a link to a printable version of the list at the end of this post, so be sure to scroll down if you’d like to have a paper copy.

How to Use This List

You’ll find enough ideas here that you could implement one each week for a year and a half if you wanted to. So you could just start at the top and do a different one each week.

However, the list is in alphabetical order and isn’t designed to help you gradually increase your comfort level. After all, we don’t all find the same things comfortable or uncomfortable. Therefore, I would recommend that you be thoughtful about how to make these ideas work for you.

Here are some suggestions for how to put the list into action:

• Print the list and circle 12 ideas that you think you could do. Choose one each month for the next year.
• Ask your husband to identify 10 items that sound most exciting to him. Commit to doing three of them before the end of the year.
• Identify 10 items that you would like to try and ask your husband to commit to doing three of them before the end of the year.
• Read the list aloud to your husband and discuss your thoughts. You might learn some things about each other and even come up with some new ideas of your own as you talk!
• Choose one thing on this list that is a real challenge for you. Commit yourself to work on it and see if you can make some progress in three months.
• Pray about the list, asking God to show you where to start.
• Use a random number generator to choose which idea to try out first.
• Keep a printed copy of the list near your bed. Every now and then, pull the list out and choose one to try. Check off the ones you have done.
• Rank the ideas from easiest to hardest based on your individual comfort level. Start with the easiest and see how far you can go.

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